London Hogwash

Robin Ince Profile

Administrator — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 10:40:07 +0000

Robin Ince is one of the best comedians on the circuit and will go down in the annals of comedy as a brilliant man who was criminally underrated. The only explanation I can give for his lack of popularity is the fact is that it he looks a bit weird, is relatively introverted and that the public is fundamentally stupid. A stalwart of the comedy circuit, he has certainly paid his dues and remained in touch with the zeitgeist throughout his career. Often performing cheaper gigs his reams of material remain accessible and affordable to everyone, although admittedly the exceptionally drunk may have trouble understanding his viewpoint.

Composing and delivering jokes as confidently as the big hitters of comedy, he lacks only the self congratulatory flamboyance that characterises the Michael McIntyre’s of this world. His insight is what sets him apart from his peers, observing the fascination and wonder in so much of the world that we all take for granted.

Never afraid to sound nerdy or verbose he is one of the most informative comedians around and with diverse routines, you’re guaranteed to learn something without being patronised, (which presumably accounts for his popularity with younger audiences as well.) His enthusiasm for self improvement is genuinely infectious leading to the increasingly rare sensation of feeling like you’re a better person after seeing him perform. ‘’Improved self worth? Why Mr. Ince, you’re really spoiling us!’’

His brainchild ‘Nine lessons and carols for godless people’ has probably done more good- stimulating inquisitive minds than most charitable acts and has successfully created a communal sense of camaraderie among rational minds in the two short years since its inception. Over the years his book club has inspired countless people and facilitated the rehabilitation of many stagnant minds, not to mention the educating festival patrons of all ages.

Whether or not you ever see him perform, you owe Robin Ince a debt of thanks, because we’ll be feeling the shockwaves from his impact on the cultural landscape for decades to come.

As a complete sidebar I have just applide for a couple of Secondary education job openings. I know it is a little strange but I have to say that I am totally excited about the opportunity!

The Greatest Gift - laughter

Administrator — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 10:16:17 +0000

A sense of humour is a very personal thing. Some of us (particularly the brits) enjoy toilet humour, some prefer satire and some "knock knock" jokes.

A successful comedian will find a genre that appeals to many and either tell jokes or humourous stories, be they made up or anecdotory. Like many other things jokes change with the times, they come in and go out of fashion. Apart from childrens’ jokes that is. I am reminded of when my children were young and returned from school with a new "joke". Invariably they were surprised that I knew the punch line. You see they weren’t new - I had heard and told these jokes forty or so years before. Occasionally there would be a new one but they tend to be related to the time. I recall my son coming home ten or fifteen years ago with "How do you get Picachu on a bus? - You pokeimon."

The material that a comedian uses has to be relevant if he is to be successful and more than that it has to be relevant to a large number of people. The Ricky Gervaises and Bill Baileys of this world write their material around everyday happenings but with an "absurd" slant. the thing is that the audience can associate with both the events and the slant. they understand that this seemingly serious happening or situation could go off onto an absurd tangent. The skill of Gervais, Bailey and their ilk is to see that tangent, expand it and deliver it.

Here lies their next requirement - delivery. We can all remeber jokes, we can all make the mundain absurd but only a very few can stand up in front of an audience and tell those stories, crack those jokes in such a way as to get us, the public, on their side - to laugh with them. Once the "stand ups" can achieve that we will pay for it.

What a great skill to have - making people laugh. Wish I could do it………I’ll have a go:-

"Have you heard the one about…." Well perhaps not.

And another update, I have finally finished the changes for the tattoo removal manchester webpage. I am rather confused how I feel about this one, any criticisms are welcome

It’s All Systems Go With The PoGo!

Administrator — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 09:48:20 +0000

A friend of mine got a really clever little gizmo for Christmas. I don’t mean literally, after all, this isn’t a story that is linked to Spielberg’s ‘Gremlins’… It is a printer for mobile phones. The ‘PoGo’, by Polaroid, is only about the same size as a mobile and it is a very sleek looking bit of gadgetry.

But the weird thing about it is that the PoGo does not use any ink! I am not entirely sure how it actually works, but the paper (a special type called, ‘Zink’) must somehow be impregnated with each colour necessary to give you a print. The quality of the pictures as surprisingly good, I expected them to look a bit naff but they are actually very respectable.

Obviously, this device will only work with Zink printing paper and your pictures are only 3” x 2” in size… However, if you want to be able to just print off photographs straight from your mobile phone without all the clatting about of hooking it up to a computer, then this is your baby.

It is all very clever and it should appeal to a large amount of people. Teenagers whose lives revolve around their mobiles will love it and older people will find it a quick and simple way to get their family photographs printed. The PoGo is incredibly easy to use and it is compatible with an enormous amount of different handsets. But, before you rush out to buy one, check that your phone will support it. There is a long list of which mobile phones work with the PoGo on Polaroid’s website.

And just before I go; how does italy ski holidays online contest sound ?? Everybody must enter, I am determined to win this!

Why Having A Blog For Your Business Is A Good Thing

Administrator — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 09:12:40 +0000

Blogs are an important thing to have when you are in business. It is not a secret that blogs generate income. You can advertise your affiliate links, post reviews about products or slap some Adsense code on there and earn per click. However, when trying to earn income with your business through your blog, you need to take a different approach.

Some people fill their blogs up with information about their business opportunity. This is fine as long as you are giving sincere information and not talking hype. What I like to do instead is turn my blog into a sort of training site. I teach people how to build their business through different marketing methods. This gains their trust and they eventually end up joining me in business. After having your blog up for awhile and making regular posts, the search engines will pick it up and index it which will bring in tons of traffic and more business.

In other news, just had this forwarded from Mandy Skin clinic have been prosecuted for not having licenced their clinic correctly, bloody hell the staff their must be pissed, they are a huge company.

Size Matters.

Administrator — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 07:23:47 +0000

Why is it that we seem to be obsessed with making everything as small as possible? Stereo systems, mobile phones, netbooks and even cars have decreased in size over the years. It is nice when things are ‘compact’ but sometimes it goes a bit too far.

I recently got a new mobile phone. It had far more gadgets on it than my last one and it was a lot more up to date as well. The only problem was that I struggled to actually use it! The keys were a lot smaller and closer together so that when I tried to send a text message it turned it into a garbled mess. I was a bit miffed but when I had a look round for something better I noticed that many of the later models had the same design for their keys.

Memory cards for devices are the most amazing things. The full sized SD is not exactly on the large side but when you see a Micro SD it is mind-blowing to think it can hold so much data. But am I the only person to find it really fiddly to use them? It often seems to be a real challenge to remove one from a mobile phone. Maybe I am just getting too old for all this ‘new fangled technology’…

Perhaps we should have a squad of ‘Size Police’ who go around to various manufacturers of electrical gadgetry and check that idiots like me are going to be able to use their products. Anyone found to be breaking the strict size regulations could be miniaturised and doomed to an existence of picking out misshaped blobs of solder from circuit boards on their own gadgets!

Hmmm. Maybe not; it might be more reasonable to expect people like me with big, fat sausage fingers to take a bit more care.

More work related news, I have finally finished all the copy for the tattoo removal London webpage. I really don’t know how I feel about this one, any comments would be helpful

Red, White and Brown: A Comedy Show by Russell Peters

Administrator — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 10:40:12 +0000

Often times the comedians that reach the spotlight are white or Black, especially in America. Well, enter Russell Peters, a refreshing change to that trend. Born of Indian heritage, Russell’s unique brand of ethnic comedy will entertain you while challenging any former views you may have held of Indians or other races.

Russell’s most recent performance was Red, White and Brown, a comedy show that was performed at Madison Square Garden. He starts the show off by warning Asian techies to not be “downloading bastards” with the special.

The show continues with several ethnic jokes. But unlike more crass comedians, Russell’s brand of ethnic humor is more tasteful. He is able to remain funny without excessive use of bad words or racial slurs.

The only prominent exception is when he joked about a Chinese ‘filler’ word, (which sounds like “n-e-g-g-a-r” in English). And even then it was in good taste, as he explained how weird and offensive that word sounds to outsiders, (even though its actual meaning is not the same).

Russell also joked on his name. He said even though English names are not unusual in India, Indians often look at him with a face that “looks like they’re sh***ng.” He goes on to explain that a simple history lesson will reveal that he and other Indians possess English names because the country was once under British rule.

There was another set of jokes that nearly had me falling on the floor in laughter. During this set he joked about how whites and minorities discipline their kids. And, since white kids are more used to “time-out”, minorities could get in trouble if they listen to them for advice.

This is what happened to him, as a white friend told him to say “F**k you dad” to his father. He did, and he got beat. So, he came back to the friend and told him that method didn’t work. The friend then said you have to threaten to call “Children’s Aid,” (the Social Service department in Canada).

Russell’s father responded by saying that although he’ll get in some trouble, he knows that Children’s Aid “takes exactly 23 minutes” to get there. And, during that time “somebody’s gonna get hurt real bad!”

Other jokes poked fun at African languages, Jamaican ‘coolness’, Indian culture and whites. He also had a bit of sexual humor.

In conclusion, if you appreciate ethnic comedy, give Red, White and Brown a try. The DVD has already been released in Canada, and is due to release in the U.S. and other countries late January.

J. Medicine Hat — Comedian and Hypnotist

Administrator — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 14:14:59 +0000

J. Medicine Hat has been on the comedy scene since the days of Star
Search. He has been seen on TV several times since then, on Showtime,
HBO, MTV and VH1. He has been seen on banners and building wraps around all the major cities in the UK. Most recently, he was seen in person by myself. I recently not only got to witness J. Medicine Hat’s hypnotism routine, but I actually got to take part in it.

Since J. Medicine Hat is not only a comedian but also a hypnotist, as
we were laughing at him, we also were laughing at our friends, family
and strangers as they were hypnotized onstage. He did a great job of
entertaining and keeping things serious for the people onstage. He
was very concerned for the safety of those up on stage. No one under
the influence of alcohol was allowed to be hypnotized and he kept the
audience under control as far as excess talking or heckling the people
up front. He was also very concerned for people falling off the
stage. Supposedly he had been sued for someone falling off and getting
injured and didn’t want to have to fork out anymore money for clumsy
audience members. (Not sure if that is true, or just part of the
act.)

This was the first time I have ever been hypnotized so I wasn’t sure
about the nuts and bolts of hypnotisim or even if it would work or not.
He started out with about 20 people and by the time he was done
putting us to "sleep" there were maybe 10 left (and one girl in the
audience, who he let be part of the show from her seat). He had us
doing a lot of the typical hypnotized comedy. We put sunscreen on our
bodies, drove a fast car, thought we were naked. There was a lot of farting
humor, which I don’t think is all that funny, but the audience was
laughing pretty hard, so most people must like those kind of jokes.

When I was "under" I could hear everything he said and I remembered
everything that happened. I did what he told me to do as if he was in
control of my actions. It was really weird because I was aware of
what was happening but still doing what he said. I think others must
have been more under than me, because I talked with them later and
they didn’t remember a lot of the show and had no idea what they were
made to do.

In the beginning of the show he had us each tell something that we
wanted him to "program" us to do after the show. Some wanted to quit
smoking, others wanted to lose weight or become better students. I
was running a marathon the next week, so I asked him to help me with
that. When it came time to help us with our problems he must have
forgotten mine, because he told me to quit smoking. After the show, I
was disappointed that he told me the wrong thing, so I went to my
friend who works at the comedy club and she brought me to his dressing
room where I got my own private show. He put me back under and told
me I would do great at the marathon, my legs wouldn’t get tired and
I’d feel great. Now, mind you, I trained for months for the marathon
(26.2 miles) but at the end I did feel great. Was it the hypnosis or
the training? Guess I’ll never know. But non the less, thanks J.
Medicine Hat!

For more information about the Hat, go to his homepage:
http://www.jmedicinehat.com/

RyanAir: Where No Frills Means No Compassion!

Administrator — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 08:51:13 +0000

Yesterday I was standing at my appropriate departure gate at London’s Stansted Airport where I watched RyanAir’s personnel efficiently carrying out their policy about refusing late passengers entry to the plane. The passengers in this instance were a family comprising what appeared to be a mother, father and two young children (one of which it should be noted was a baby).

Having sat on a plane waiting for a last minute passenger needing hair restoration surgery who finally turned up with a bag full of duty free booze proclaiming why they were so late, I don’t have a lot of tolerance with people who can’t present themselves for their flight on time. However there are situations which mean that sometimes you get held up and if you are moving from one end of an airport to another with small children these situations seem to be more common. The first problem is the security checks where you must aid your children out of their jackets etc. Even trickier with a baby! Then putting these items back on whilst any buggy is thoroughly investigated for illegal substances and security measures. Not to mention ensuring that your other stuff such as passport/travel documents and personal effects aren’t tampered with whilst your attention is on your children. Following this, Stansted also wants to examine all shoes and so a parent travelling with children has to get their own shoes off, plus their child’s, and then of course put them back on again. This is stressful because it takes time and as a parent you’re very much aware of the sighing businessman needing skin mole removal surgery for his face, standing behind you in the line, complete with his neat laptop bag, expensive suit and impatient expression.

%more%

The stress doesn’t end there. You can see from the screen that you have a departure gate number for your flight, and you know the direction to go, but then your child needs the bathroom, and as any parent is only too aware of the safety issues surrounding children in airports you must accompany the child. Having seen to that child’s bathroom needs, and having got halfway to the appropriate departure gate – in Stansted’s case this involves negotiating the most crazy arrangement ever created of moving between floor levels at numerous points along the way – you discover the baby is stinking and the other passengers won’t be happy so you have to find a toilet area, and change the nappy. Trying to make it to the plane is like trying to complete a cyrstal maze >treasure hunt test. No wonder parents travelling with small children look frazzled by the time they get to their appointed departure gate.

Yesterday the plane was still on the ground, the doors were open and the stairs were still in place. Despite this, and the fact it would take less than 3 minutes for this family to board the plane, RyanAir’s gate crew declared the flight closed and the family was not allowed to board. The mother was extremely distressed, her loud sobs echoing in the heart of any parent who knows how much effort it took for her to get there and how so easily a toilet visit could have put them in the same situation. The little boy was crying. The baby was crying. The father looked completely devastated. Meanwhile minutes passed while the crew outside located the baggage belonging to the family that had already been put into the plane, and removed it. The time it took to locate and remove the baggage was far greater than it would have taken to show some compassion to an already stressed out family and allow them to board the plane.

I don’t know what the fate of this family was. I don’t know if they were able to get another plane yesterday, or if they would be stranded overnight with a baby and small child to care for – as they weren’t English and probably returning home from vacation, they may also have been on extremely limited funds. What I do know is that whilst RyanAir may be patting itself on the head for having the least number of cancellations when lined up against its competitors, they should be hanging their heads for creating this situation. I think it would be a far better promotional point to be able to say that they were the best family orientated airline, especially when traditional family values are supposedly being bandied around at Government level. At the moment, the attitude yesterday – coupled with their policy of people having to pay additional costs for priority boarding (RyanAir, as with some of their economy flight competitors no longer automatically allow people travelling with young children to board first) – this airline is ranking somewhere near the bottom of the family friendly airline list!

Shame on you RyanAir!

Make a change

Administrator — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 14:17:36 +0000

People say that I’m the perfect age to have a mid life crises. Well I’m staunchly saying that I’m NOT having any thing of the sort, I’ve just chosen to make a few changes in my life. There’s nothing wrong with that, is there? You have to seize the moment, do what you’re going to do now, make it happen or the window will pass and all you’ll have left is the thoughts of things that could have been.

So in my bid to change my life, I started by going to the internet. Where better to start than to source of all things? I started by looking in Google for search UK property to find a decent property website. Do you know the range of places that are available to live in? Just even knowing the possibilities excited me! I could do anything from live in an old church to a fully working farm. I didn’t buy online however, and I haven’t moved yet. I’m not sure I’m going to, but there is something about knowing that I’m not stuck where I am that changed how I view my situation. Rather than feeling trapped, I’m now glad I live where I live. What seemed circumstance beyond my control has become a conscious choice. Now, I am living where I want to live, and even though nothing has changed physically, I am so much happier with my life.

What I did end up buying from the internet however was a, well, a procedure in a clinic. I feel a little embarrassed to say it in a way, but I’m a little on the tubby side, always have been. It’s also always been something that bothered me, so I’ve done something about it. I’ve booked in for chest reduction at a place called court house clinics. I can’t recommend them either way yet, it’s scheduled for next week, but I think I’m actually looking forward to it.

My final big change was to buy a horse. Well, try and buy a horse! I used to ride when I was young, and I’d like to again. I actually found one that was both within my price range and a fine animal. However, it seems that keeping one is a little more expensive than I thought! The actual upkeep is substantial. You have to cover everything from the food and stables, to paying for equine liability and stable staff. In the end I went in on a horse share with someone! I own half a horse – hopefully not the back end!

So reading all this, do you think I’m going through a mid life crises? Whether I am or not, at the end of the day I don’t really care. I’m making some changed in my life that are making my life better for myself, and that’s the most important thing.

Tough roles - an actors excerpt

Administrator — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 14:38:52 +0000

So, being an actor is actually pretty hard work.

I learned this in kindergarten. I was drawing a picture of what I wanted to be when I grew up (a film star, of course). I must admit, it was a smashing depiction: long blonde hair, a fabulous red sequin dress, VERY high heels and to top off the ensemble, a lovely purple feather boa. I learned being an actor would be pretty hard work, because I had to share the purple crayon with the little boy who wanted to be a dentist. (Sometimes, it’s best not to ask questions–)

However, now that I’m (mostly) grown-up, I have come to realize that it’s really pretty difficult to find facets of myself in the characters I play. It's like playing a treasure hunt in your soul for something that you hope is there, but may not be. Sometimes, you find the treasure you are looking for, but other times… in this particular case (I’m playing a solider accused of abusing prisoners of war), it’s really REALLY hard!

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First of all, I have no idea what it is like to be in the military. I have spent a lot of time reading, watching war films (GI Jane was really pretty great! What’s not to love about a totally ripped Demi Moore?!) and chatting with people who had enlisted. I was pretty amazed at some of the stories I ran across: there are several accounts of immense valor and bravery–it almost made me want to enlist myself. Of course, I came to my senses before signing on the dotted line–

Secondly, I have no idea what it is like to inflict physical abuse. I have never been in a fight. I have never struck another human being with my bare fist. (I have been a student of Tae Kwon Do, so I have done a little bit of sparring, but HEAVILY padded–so really, I feel that doesn’t count, especially since punches were pulled). Where does the urge for violence come from?

But, the bottom line is, it doesn’t matter if I have actually experienced it or not. What matters is if I can convey the mental anguish and guilt of the character.

That’s hard.